Sunday, January 4, 2009

That Cursed Fingernail

Normally, when I play Frisbee I need to keep my nails uber short so that I don’t completely split my nail open on a potentially faulty catch (not like that ever happens). But since I’ve been out of commission because of my back issues and now that the season is on pause due to the wintry season, I’ve been a little neglectful. My nails aren’t dangerously long, but they’re getting to point of being just a tad too close to the line of sharpness. All those close by, beware! In fact, my nails mimic with intensely close resemblance the single long pinky nail that Chinese men sport. It is very bizarre. I have yet to figure out for exactly what purpose these men keep their nail (rarely, nails) so long and pointy to such a witch-like extent. Maybe it’s to dial their cell phones. Maybe it’s to point at scared children. Maybe it’s to pick their noses. Perhaps it’s to semi-subtly get in touch with their feminine side. If you have any other hypotheses, please feel free to share. I’m open to new and fresh insight.

Now, women have some long nails too, but I guess I wrote it off as being generically girly. Sorry. Stereotyping…it’s already out there. Deal.

In other news, the time finally came…I got food poisoning. My guess is that some tap water wasn’t properly boiled, but who knows. Bloating to the max for 4 days….including New Year’s Eve. Let’s just say I kept it low key. But I’m still alive—taking medication and recovering, but still paranoid about what I eat and drink…I guess that’s a good thing. Blast you Chinese water and Chinese food! For now, I’ll be switching it up between Western and Chinese food…a little variety and a little peace of mind.

Later,

Em

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wasn't snuff enjoyed by emperors in China by using a snuff bottle and a usually very ornate sorta spoon that was worn on their pinky finger from which to sniff the snuff.

I think that less wealthy people (and women in england) would simply grow one fingernail long instead of the other thingermabobbin....

Is sniffing snuff making a comeback......oooor cocaine? I don't know how prevalent that is in china.

Just a thought....

Anonymous said...

It's actually a great idea... maybe I'll do the same. Sure beats sniffing the stuff off of toilet seats... I mean what... I just use my hand...I mean no...I don't touch the stuff.

Emma Smaldino said...

Sir Goddard, you're brilliant! Though it is a little daunting. Poor addicts....all...over...China. Maybe we should send a mass of rehabilitation workers over, get this mess cleaned up. Which reminds me: clean up your act, Goddard. I'm ashamed of you. I thought I said to stay away from the stuff! Oy...when will you learn...

David Zee said...

Er, I always thought it was to scoop out earwax. I've seen men use their long pinky nails that way.

Emma Smaldino said...

Oh yuck! I guess it's just another practical way to use a part of our body. Genius! (but still ew...)