Chinese Gym Experience

I recently joined a gym in Shanghai (which is conveniently located near Jiaotong University) because Geoff found a really good deal. The point of this post isn't to tell you about my workout plan, but instead to relate an amusing anecdote... A couple of days ago, I entered the gym to lift some weights. First, I went into the locker to change out of my normal clothes and into some shorts. Now, the men's locker room isn't the most comfortable place in the world (what with all the naked men wandering around), but there's a general understanding that if you keep a reasonable personal distance between people and don't stare, then its all good. Anyways, I'm changing into my shorts in front of my locker and a completely naked Chinese man comes up (maybe within 16 inches of me) and starts peeling a hardboiled egg (the trash can was near my locker). Hilarious. I'm just looking over at him wondering what the hell he's doing standing naked in the locker room peeling an egg. So, he finishes peeling his egg and walks back over to his stuff and sits down and eats it. Still in the nude. Then, the dude pulls out another egg from his bag marches back over to me, peels it, and starts eating it right there. WTF, mate? At that point, I was all set, so I left the locker room giggling. Who knows how long that guy was in there naked eating eggs...

In other news, last night I saw a YouTube video that was a Chinese take on the Lazy Sunday SNL skit. Check it out...

Ok, so thats it from me now. Off to play frisbee... Will write more later!

- Jon

Medicine Man

I’ve been sick with cold/flu symptoms for about 4 days now, 2.5 of those days I’ve stayed home from teaching the little munchkins (projecting my voice through loud speaking and singing over rambunctious kiddies just wasn’t gonna happen…). I was going to wait it out, but I figured that since I took a couple of days off work, I should make it legitimate and go to the doctor. So I called my coordinator and she came over to my apt to take me along. When I got downstairs, she said I could choose the next step: go to a hospital-like place where they’d give me “western” medicine, or go to her friend’s apartment to get “Chinese” medicine…what the heck, I went with the latter. So we took a long-ish cab ride out to an apartment complex with a labyrinth-like passageway. On the way we passed an elderly bunch doing physical exercise on the brightly-colored plastic machines (imagine an elliptical machine, made for a kid but still adult-sized, with no motor…they’re everywhere here).

We finally reached Dr. Ge’s apartment (his name is pronounced like you’re just saying the sound /g/, with a stretched out down-up tone). It was small and cold, made of concrete, like all buildings here (insulation is not so popular). He sat me down at his desk that was covered in calligraphy tools and in a chair lined with fake fur. He tried to speak to me in Chinese—I bumbled responses while my coordinator was speaking on the phone—and then took my pulse…apparently that was all he needed. Oh, he also picked up the desk lamp and stuck it in my face so he could look down my throat…Yup, just what he thought: a cold. Wow, Doc. I’m so glad I came to you! However, while I was there, the phone rang a bunch of times asking for Dr. Ge’s services…apparently he’s pretty popular, and we got VIP special treatment. J

He gave me some medicine (I’m still awaiting another one that my coordinator will personally deliver…along with some noodles and vegetables….what a sweetheart!), and when I asked what it was for, they responded: It’s for a cold. I would just need to have some trust and faith in this dynamic duo.

I still feel fatigued, and the medicine won’t show clear effects for at least a day or so, but I’m glad I went. It didn’t cost me anything (that I know of…) and I got to see the inner workings of a very friendly and popular Chinese doctor.

Off to rest some more…

- Emma

Beard Vote, etc...

Those of you in China know that through a combination of laziness and... well, just laziness really, I have let my facial hair grow out of control for the last month. I'd say that we're in the full-on homeless beard range now. Basically, its do-or-die time for the beard. In the interest of entertainment, I have decided to leave the fate of my beard in your hands (my loyal readers). Each of you can vote (by blog comment, email, gchat, skype or in person) to either keep the beard or shave it off and I will abide (like The Dude) by your decision. One caveat - Emma's special privilege earns her 5 votes. Here are some pictures of the current beard...

Left side of the beard and goofy grin

Right side sans goofy grin

This is the look I use to scare little Chinese children (then they yell hu zi!)

Emma designed some sweet shorts with the Shanghai Huwa frog on them. The order just arrived a couple days ago. Check it out!!!


Last, but not least, here is yesterday's joke of the day that made me laugh. Hope you enjoy it too!

A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a man below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man below replied, "You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 42 degrees north latitude and between 58 and 60 degrees west longitude."

"You must be an engineer," said the balloonist.

"I am," replied the man, "but how did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost."

The man below responded, "You must be a manager."

"I am," replied the balloonist, "how did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you are exactly in the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault."

- Jon

Tiger Leaping Gorge

After poking around the aforementioned unknown mountain, I spent the next couple of days hiking on the stunningly beautiful Tiger Leaping Gorge trail with Alec, Phil, Jacob, and Andrea. The trail neatly followed the gorge basin for a couple dozen kilometers and the views were spectacular the entire way. We were sandwiched between two relatively steep mountain faces with the water beneath us. The trail was remarkably well-marked (my expectations for Chinese trails are quite low at this point) and well laid-out. The journey reminded me of hiking the trail to Machu Picchu in Peru. Here are some pictures...

Part of the gang at the trailhead

Taking a break and admiring the views

View from the bottom of the gorge

Getting back out of the gorge the "dangerous" way, almost completely vertical

Tina's = best hostel ever

View from the end of the trail

The thing that surprised me most about the trail was how relatively empty it was. I think we only passed by 15 or 20 people during our 2 days walking. In China, that is unheard of... My hypothesis is that the arduous nature of the trail dissuaded most Chinese tourists from hiking and instead they chose to take the buses following the low road. Regardless of the reason, it was incredible to have the trail to ourselves. It was very relaxing and calming to just be able to walk around without the constant commotion of other people going about their lives. It's the first time in China that I've been able to relax this way outside of my apartment. It was wonderful :)

- Jon

Joke of the Day

This past fall semester, at Duke University, there were two sophomores who were taking Organic Chemistry and who did pretty well on all of the quizzes, midterms, labs, etc. Going into the final exam, they had solid "A's."

These two friends were so confident going into the final that the weekend before finals week (even though the Chem. final was on Monday), they decided to go up to University of Virginia to a party with some friends.

So they did this and had a great time. However, they ended up staying longer than they planned, and they didn't make it back to Duke until early Monday morning. Rather than taking the final then, they found Professor Aldric after the final and explained to him why they missed it. They told him that they went up to Virginia for the weekend, and had planned to come back in time to study, but that they had a flat tire on the way back and didn't have a spare and couldn't get help for a long time. So they were late getting back to campus.

Aldric thought this over and agreed that they could make up the final on the following day. The two guys were elated and relieved. So, they studied that night and went in the next day at the time that Aldric had told them.

He placed them in separate rooms, handed each of them a test booklet and told them to begin. They looked at the first problem, which was something simple about free radical formation and was worth 5 points. "Cool" they thought, "this is going to be easy." They did that problem and then turned the page.

They were unprepared, however, for what they saw on the next page.

It said: (95 points) "Which tire?"

- Jon

Unknown Sweet Mountain

After poking around Kunming a little and checking out the Stone Forest, I wanted to explore things a little further afield (i.e. things outside the ubiquitous 5 million person cities that are everywhere in China). I needed to get the hell out of dodge and, for me, there is only one proper way to do that - cram myself on a night bus headed for Lijiang. I REALLY wish I had some pictures from this night bus because it was a true debacle. They smush about 36 beds on a normal sized bus. Now, I'm sure you're thinking to yourself, there is no way that you could possibly fit 36 beds on a bus (even if you're thinking about those crappy, extra-small beds that they give you in college dorms). Well, you're right - there's no way they could possibly fit that many beds on a bus. So instead, they just mark off 36 flat enclosed areas and call them beds. To make things more amusing, not all these "beds" are created equal. For example, next to the wheel there is a bed that was no more than 4 ft long (I kid you not) and then my favorite was in the back they just put 5 people together in one superwide bed. No separaters, no barriers, just some 5 person spooning with strangers in the back (I had the good fortune of not being stuck in the back, but some of my friends were not quite as lucky). I really should get to more interesting topics, but a little more must be said about the night bus. So, on the night bus I think it is required that they find the silliest Chinese movie they can get their hands on and then blast it at deafening volume until midnight. These are the RULES! (This isn't 'Nam after all.) Anyways, the movie that I had on the first night bus was a hilarious movie about some painter who created paintings by making some other guy get completely naked, dunking him in ink, and then beating him up all over a piece of canvas. Now that's wushu and yishi combined!

Arrival in Lijiang was also fairly amusing. We rolled into the town proper around 6:30am or 7:00am and there wasn't a soul to be seen. (Side note: part of the reason nobody was awake yet is the fact that all of China runs on Beijing time, there are no separate time zones. One country, One Time Zone.) So we're basically wandering around a deserted city banging on any hostel door we can. The most unbelieveable part is that nobody would answer... You'd think they'd be used to getting the backpackers from the night bus. We probably walked around for an hour before we were finally able to rouse a guy at the Ancient Town Youth Hostel and promptly collapsed for a couple hours of sleep.

Refreshed from our nap, we headed out right away for a nearby mountain (unfortunately, I can't recall the name). The Lonely Planet did a pretty terririfically bad job of explaining where to go, how to get there, and how much it would cost, but we were able to sort things out on our own and 1 minivan, 1 bus, and 1 cable car later we found ourselves 4600m above sea level starring out over Yunnan.

Me at the base of the mountain

"Base Camp" on the mountain, 4500m above sea level

I'm taking a new job making Communist propaganda...

It was really cool to be up so high. The views were tremendous and even the air seemed cleaner up there. It was pretty hard to breathe though and we couldn't hike much more than 100 ft before stopping to rest a little. It's pretty cool how fast your heart will beat from just a little walking at that altitude. We were in no rush and spent a couple of hours exploring the mountain and glacier nearby. While we were chilling on some rocks, a group of Chinese men started stripping off their shirts and taking photos. The cold weather didn't bother these guys at all and it made for some hilarious photo ops...

Ridiculous Shirtless Chinese Mountain Men

Little Wooden Message Panels

- Jon

Where Stones Look Like People

The day after the tournament a couple friends from the tournament (Alec, Phil, Andrea, and Jacob) and I made our way to the Stone Forest a couple of hours outside Kunming. It was basically a maze-like area of large stone pillars and crazy looking formations. A great place to explore and wander around, but it would have been even better to play paintball in... Here are a couple pictures to give you an idea of what it looked like...

A view of the whole forest

Stone that looked like an elephant

One of the highlights of our adventures in Stone Forest was the spotting of Asia's biggest mullet. We saw this guy while we were exploring one of the formations and I backtracked through hordes of Chinese tour groups. After a couple minutes, my stalking paid off and I snapped some pretty sweet shots. Reminded me of the good old times mullet hunting in Wal-mart in Central PA...

Back view of Asia's biggest mullet

Side view of Asia's biggest mullet

We also had the pleasure of eating in a restaurant with the most incomprehensible English menu I've ever seen. It was almost completely gibberish. You'll have to look closely at this one, but check out the words in red...

- Jon

The Prodigal Son Returns

I have to apologize for vanishing this last week and half. I was in Yunnan (Southwestern China) for about 10 days and spent the vast majority of that time without internet access (hiking or crying because the Berry's didn't pay their bill on time). I have more stories than I could possibly tell in one entry, so my next few entries will probably all be about my trip.

This trip to Yunnan started as many of my trips in China start - the Shanghai Railway Station. Despite my somewhat hellish journey via hard seat to Harbin last month, I had decided to book a 38-hour hard seat down to Kunming (in a desperate effort to save money now that I'm no longer working and studying instead). The journey went about as well as could be expected. There were no dead people, no huge riots, no police crackdowns - just a lot of Chinese people eating oranges, sunflower seeds, and fangbianmian and very, very little sleep. I was also able to read one book from start to finish and get halfway through another one before the trip was over. 38 hours is a lot of time to be in one place without a computer... Oh, I also discovered the joys of books on tape. I listened to a couple of Sherlock Holmes books on tape that I had downloaded and also listened to Jack Welch's self-narrated autobiography. Good stuff!

Anyways, I arrived in Kunming fairly exhausted but happy. Kunming was about 25 degrees warmer than Shanghai and it was amazingly refreshing just to step out into the sun. I had no idea how much I liked the sun... I trucked over to the Berry's place where I met up with Sam, Jono, and Gareth. We relaxed for most of the day and finished up some of the final details for the hat tournament. I was also taught how to salt cure meat and have started doing so in Shanghai!

The next two days we played in a pretty sweet 4-team hat tournament. My team (team 2) was somewhat appropriately named SpongeBeardBoobPants. I think that 5 out of 8 guys on our team had significant facial hair. I won't get into the details of the tournament except to say that we had blast and ended up winning the whole thing. I know it sounds cliche, but what really made this hat tournament special was how much all of the new players learned. It was really great to see how much they all developed over just one weekend (I even taught them MILK.) Ok, more details will follow on tournament parties and other travels, but that's it for now.

- Jon

Cute Kindergartners!!!!!

Right now, I'm in the computer lab of the new kindergarten school that I'm working in, sitting on a miniature chair clearly made for a 3-year-old, trying to tune out the result of the extraordinary lung capacities of my Chinese "colleagues"....i.e. their voices are f-ing loud. I still haven't figured out if they're actually angry or passionate about something, or if their forceful speaking, as if they're trying to shove the words and sounds out with all of their mind, is simply their way of communicating. Sometimes I try to catch one or two Chinese words that I might possibly understand, so I'm not ALWAYS that "oblivious foreigner," but I'm pretty sure they're speaking in Shanghainese dialect, which makes it even harder to understand. In order to protect myself, I try to limit my time around them, seeing as I can literally feel my eardrums vibrating with fright and shock. I was hoping to make friends...or friendly acquaintances....but I'm not so sure now. Eh, maybe I just need time to adjust. Random note: one of the teachers has one super long K-9 tooth (yup, just one) - vampire style. I find myself staring at it whenever I'm near her....it's pretty creepy. The little kiddies have a ton of energy and make a whole lotta noise, so I need to speak/yell pretty loudly so they can hear me. When we sing songs, which we do often, I find myself struggling to sing loud enough while staying in tune. When the pitch gets too high, either my voice softens....or it stays loud and I sound like a pre-pubescent boy. Either way, my voice and throat are taking a huge beating.

Speaking of the new kiddies (ages 2-6), they are SOOOO ADORABLE! Their cheeks are so pinchable, and their bodies are so huggable, and their eyes are so huge and gorgeous, I just want to hug them and smile at them and stare into their beautiful eyes all day. I'll take pictures soon and put them up on the blog so we can all enjoy the cute kids. :) Too bad that most of their teeth are completely rotten. :( It's like they have spent the entirety of their short lives eating sticky sugary candy and never once brushing their teeth. One girl barely had any sign of anything resembling a tooth in her mouth. I feel really badly for them...I guess dental hygiene is just not the norm here. Overall, I really like my new job teaching English to kindergartners. So far, really fun. Requires a super duper amount of constantly streaming positive energy, but not so much intensive intellectual/brain power. :)And being in Shanghai is really great. Lots to do. And I can go to pilates classes whenever I want, which is helping my back pains.....slowly, but hopefully surely. It's been a little lonely since almost everyone I know in Shanghai, including Jon, are out of town, mostly at the Ultimate frisbee tournament in Kunming...where it's sunny and warm and surrounded by scenic hiking areas (can we say jealous??). Jon gets back Sunday (3 days), so I'm pretty excited.....I really miss him (yup, I said it. I miss my man). Also, Jon wanted me to tell you all that he apologizes for not updating the blog diligently since he has had very limited computer and internet access along his travels. When he gets back, he'll be sure to share detailed accounts of his adventures. So here is where I leave you for now. I am off to lunch and then to wander the area and read my book (I have a total of 3.5 hours break in the middle of the day; not too shabby). Ciao for now!

- Emma

The Yeti Cometh

I stopped shaving almost three weeks ago for a variety of reasons (Eagles solidarity and laziness). The Eagles lost in the playoffs, but I remained lazy and I was also braving sub-zero temperatures on a daily basis in Harbin so I decided to keep whatever hair I could muster. It's been a week since then and I still haven't shaved. Now it's mostly out of curiosity to see what will develop. I'm also getting some very positive reactions from Chinese cab drivers who seem to really like it... Anyways, I'm about to leave for a 1.5 week jaunt down to Southwestern China for a frisbee hat tournament and some hiking. I'm going to let it grow the whole time I'm gone and then shave it all off when I return. Here are some mug shots of the current multi-colored homeless scruff:

Front Shot

Side Shot

- Jon

Adventures with the 'rents

On Saturday, my parents flew back to New York from Shanghai after visiting me for the past two weeks. I had a really great time with them...it helped to see them after really missing them for 7 months. And it was awesome that they got to see the change in culture, food, and customs here in China. We went to Xi'an to see the terracotta warriors, which were actually awesome (despite being over-hyped), and then to Beijing to see all the major attractions: the Great Wall, the Forbidden City, Tiananmen Square, the Imperial Gardens, and the Temple of Heaven. Now, it wasn't quite has horrifically cold there as it was in Harbin (Jon's such a trooper!), but it was still wicked cold, especially with the ghastly winds up on the Great Wall (we spent a whole 45 minutes up there...I'll definitely be making a return trip). And then our last day at the Temple of Heaven was simply unbearable with the biting air and the forceful wind - we were speedily in and out (that's what she said....beat you to it, Geoff!).

When we got back to Shanghai, we toured around the city a bit and then went to lovely Hangzhou on a abnormally warm and sunny day. We mostly toured around the West Lake, which was crowded with tourists for the New Year holiday, but the warm sun and loving company still made everything really enjoyable.

Here are some pics from the various trips:

Creepy kung-fu lantern sculptures on top of the Xi'an city wall


Terracotta Warriors (Xi'an)


Super well-preserved terracotta warrior


Chairman Mao and me outside the Forbidden Palace (across from Tiananmen Square).


The Great Wall
(notice the lack of tourists? Alas, there is an advantage to being there during the wretchedly cold winter!!)


Mamma Smals and me at the Bank of China in Shanghai with a the info guy (and Chinese New Year enthusiast)


Jon and me in Hangzhou on the West Lake...squinting into the sun. awww....


Ambitious young girl attempting to devour the golden corn (jiāyoù!)


Crazy Chinese men (and token ladies) jumping in to the West Lake (Hangzhou).


Chinese tourists in Hangzhou wanting to take pictures with two pale white foreigners (how cute!)

Chinese Super Bowl

I woke up at 6am this morning to watch the Super Bowl. At first I wasn't too excited about everything (frankly, I'm excited about very few things besides sleep at 6am), but once the game started at the bar I started getting into it. The game was really exciting and I really enjoyed watching sports (I miss ESPN), but there was something a little weird about the whole scene. Maybe it was being in a bar from 6-11am, maybe it was the exotic dancer that randomly showed up at halftime and started dancing around (classy is not one of the words that comes to mind), or maybe it was just not being on a couch with friends watching the game. All in all though, it was a great game and I'm glad I woke up to see it!

Other things of note:

1) The newest Indiana Jones movie is terrible. I heard that it was bad, but it is beyond bad. It had no almost no redeeming qualities. Ugh. I felt dumber for having watched it. I'd say top 5 worst movies of all time (and I like almost every movie I watch!)

2) Planet B-Boy, which is a movie about international hiphop-type dancing, was almost as good as the Indiana Jones movie was bad. It was done documentary style with interviews and stories following dancers from Japan, S. Korea, France, and the USA. Highly recommended...

This made me laugh/cry:



Ok, I'm off to explore my new Shanghai neighborhood a little and find a China Mobile where I can buy a new SIM card. Hope all is well!

- Jon