Quirky Subtitles

The other day, I was watching Superbad for about the third time…mostly to kill time…and I couldn’t help but notice the amazingly ridiculous subtitles. I wrote some down for your viewing pleasure:

Words Spoken: That’s cool?
English Subtitles: Telephone contact good.

Words Spoken: Should I just get a shitload of different shit? [shit = booze]
English Subtitles: Prepare the man’s thing.

Words Spoken: Jules and her stupid fucking friend came up to me and they asked me to buy her alcohol.
English Subtitles: The Kai silk still has her with me. The friend goes out in the evening…know the sexy pole of her friend.

Words Spoken: …by some divine miracle, we were paired up and she actually thought of me.
English Subtitles: Then you seduce Kai silk me to seduce her friend.

Words Spoken: Now we’re never gonna bone because of that used tampon Fogel! [Fogel = the ridiculous nerdy sidekick friend]
English Subtitles: Your whole body hair is very hot…you might as well touch me.

Words Spoken: Ow! What the shit was that?!
English Subtitles: Damn, what is the row.

Words Spoken: What the fuck?!
English Subtitles: The mama of.


Also, Sir Zee has brought an amazing blog about wacky Asian pizzas to my attention (like the Shrimp Nude Pizza with Cream Cheese Mousse-Filled Crust from Mr. Pizza in Korea…holy moly) and you should check it out, too.


Peace! And Happy New Year!

-Em

"My rims keep shining..."

Nothing special to talk about today just a couple of random things:

1) The peasants in China have the weirdest fashion sense I've ever seen. Their clothing differs so much from your typical Suzhou or Shanghai resident that they can be picked out by even the least experienced waiguoren. It's like they're wearing a uniform. The first article of peasant clothing seems to be the sports coat. Whether you're male or female, you must wear a sports coat or leisure suit (I think bonus points are awarded for ridiculous colors, sateen, velour, or tweed - the louder, the better). Next, you must carry with you an enormous bag filled with your belongings at ALL times. If you can't fit inside said bag, then you're just a poser peasant. Again, extra points are awarded if your entire bag is made out of denim. Awesome. Lastly, if you are male and over the age of 35, then black leather baseball hats are the coolest thing you can possibly own. At least you think so...

2) I recently purchased and watched the Google Boys Biography. It was a very simplistic overview of the lives of Larry Page and Sergei Brin (who met in grad school) and the development of Google. Despite its simple format, I still learned a lot about what made/makes Google different from other search engines. It gives me an appreciation for the power of one good idea and it got all my entrepreneur juices flowing...

3) I've started jumping rope as part of my daily routine. Now, I'm enjoying the jumping rope, but part of me feels like I'm wasting some time while doing it. My body is active, but my mind is blank. I'm a little obsessed with efficiency and particularly the possibility of multi-tasking as much as possible in my own life. So, today I grabbed a bunch of audiobooks off the web and tried listening while I jumped. I tried Harry Potter for a little while, but I couldn't crank the volume up loud enough (it has to be pretty deafening to be clearly heard over the jumping up and down on the wooden floors) . So I pushed in Sun Tzu's "Art of War" and it worked like a charm. Pat on the back for me :)

Here is a comic that always makes me laugh:

- Jon

Holidays in Suzhou

Celebrating Hanukkah and Christmas in China is a little bizarre. There are some signs of the approaching holidays, but they are almost exclusively in up-scale malls that cater to wealthy ex-pats. Also, when I say "signs of the approaching holidays" what I really mean is these REALLY creepy anorexic-looking Santa robots that do jigs (only from the waist down) to haunting Chinese Christmas remixes. Weird, weird, weird. In any case, what I'm trying to say is that celebrating the holidays here is different...

Let me tell you a little bit more about our holiday celebrations. First off, the government has mandated that every foreigner must be given a paid vacation day on Christmas (count one for the Chinese government). [ Side note: maybe we should give the Chinese government another point for stepping in with some serious regulation of their financial system http://www.nytimes.com/2008/12/26/business/worldbusiness/26exam.html?th&emc=th ] So, to make a long story short, all of the students were in school on Thursday, but all the foreigner teachers were off galavanting (what a sweet word) around town. Emma and I woke up Thursday morning around 11:30am. This mighthave been a record for both of us - as working teachers, we're pretty early risers regardless of late-night festivities. We woke up refreshed and started the morning watching a little Scrubs in bed. Then after lunch we ventured out to the local industrial worker's complex where I got my hair cut (the highlight of my haircut was probably the 15 minute shampooing by some girl who basically held me hostage in order to practice her English). Good haircut though - I was freshly shorn and felt like a million RMB! We headed downtown to this swanky shopping plaza to redeem Emma's 1000 RMB gift certificate. We spent some time picking out delicious (but absurdly expensive) chocolates and other treats, but we really hit the jackpot when we discovered a grocery store in the basement. We hauled off something like 800 RMB worth of the most delicious treats we could find. It was like one of those crazy shopping sprees that people win on game shows :)

Oh, we also spent the evening doing some holiday arts and crafts. Here is a picture of our "tree":


Happy Holidays!

- Jon
P.S. For all those who doubted me, here is a picture to prove that I did attend the Swan Lake ballet.

Christmas Eve Eve

Today is Christmas Eve Eve…December 23rd. Along the way on this road leading ultimately (if only temporarily) to Christmas, I might have exuded a little… Grinch-ness. I wasn't really into the idea of Christmas, and I think that I got bogged down with elementary school teacher pressure to have the most exuberant attitude and the liveliest party and the most flamboyant decorations and the most numerous random Christmas activities (word searches, coloring pages, etc) to top all the rest. I wanted none of it so I retreated…but somewhere along this rocky road it opened up to a beautiful view, and then the road was smoother.

I got more energetic and enthusiastic about getting presents for those I love, about making home-made x-mas cards for friends and family (even though it took a stupid long time), about making a make-shift 2-dimensional yellow x-mas tree (to-be-posted when it's complete with accompanying 2-D ornaments), about relaxing, and about spending time with and appreciating those close to me. So I must admit, I'm excited for Christmas. ☺

Also, it'll be a little late (or rather, in the midst), but Jon and I are going to also make a 3-D menorah so that our heritages are deservedly represented in our home decorations. My mom would be so proud!

Here's to wishing you all the warmth and love in the world… Happy Holidays!

Over and out,
Em

More Laughs

I lifted this from Darcy's gchat status message recently and it made me laugh pretty hard. Enjoy a little Christmas fun! (If the whole picture doesn't fit on your screen, then just left-click on the picture to load the full version.)


In other news, the NY Times is back up and running in China. This is a great relief to me :) I don't really know why China blocked access (I assume it was related to negative media coverage) and I don't know why it has been restored, so I'm just going to give my Dad credit for getting access back since he called NYT to find out what the deal was (and I'm sure he offered up his two cents...) Thanks Dad!

- Jon

Indoor Heating in a Joke

It's FREEZING here now. Last night, the temperature must have dropped 20 degrees. I could see my breath in my room in the morning! Most of you are probably thinking "Well, just crank up the heat - problem solved." At this point, it is important to realize that I basically have a glorified hair drier for a heater. Each room is equipped with an A/C unit that will pump out small amounts of heat if set on high temperatures. Brrrrrrrrr. Anyways, enough of that. Here is something that came in my Joke of the Day email that made me laugh:

Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers.

(P = the problem logged by the pilot.)
(S = the solution and action taken by the engineers.)

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.

S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.

S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.

S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S: That's what they're there for.

P: IFF inoperative.

S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.

S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.

S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.

S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.

S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding

on something with a hammer.

S: Took hammer away from midget

- Jon

P.S. Thanks to all of you who have been emailing me NY Times articles. Firewall be damned!

The Great Firewall Breaks Me

China censors information on the web. They make it difficult to access any sort of information on Tibet, government errors, Falun Gong, etc... This hasn't been too big an issue for me so far. I've been able to go about almost all of my online business pretty much as I would in the States. The most annoying thing was the painfully slow speed that Facebook runs at here. Facebook actually runs so slowly that it isn't really even worth using over here (which may not be a bad thing). Anyways, everything was all fine and dandy until three days ago when I noticed that NYTimes.com was blocked! This is not ok! I really enjoyed reading the news in my email and now its impossible. I'm trying to find a work-around using proxy servers, but nothing seems to be cooperating. I'm stuck in a news-less void :(

- Jon

Poetry?

Right now I'm reading "To Engineer is Human: The Role of Failure in Successful Design". The book is relatively dry, but very well-written and enjoyable. I recently came across a poem in the book that I really liked (Disclaimer: I'm usually not a huge fan of poetry. Some of it I find tedious, some of it goes right of my head, but there are some poems that I really enjoy, like this one...)

The Deacon's Masterpiece by Oliver Wendell Holmes

Have you heard of the wonderful one-hoss shay,
That was built in such a logical way
It ran a hundred years to a day,
And then, of a sudden, it — ah, but stay,
I’ll tell you what happened without delay,
Scaring the parson into fits,
Frightening people out of their wits, —
Have you ever heard of that, I say?

Seventeen hundred and fifty-five.
Georgius Secundus was then alive, —
Snuffy old drone from the German hive.
That was the year when Lisbon-town
Saw the earth open and gulp her down,
And Braddock’s army was done so brown,
Left without a scalp to its crown.
It was on the terrible Earthquake-day
That the Deacon finished the one-hoss shay.

Now in building of chaises, I tell you what,
There is always somewhere a weakest spot, —
In hub, tire, felloe, in spring or thill,
In panel, or crossbar, or floor, or sill,
In screw, bolt, thoroughbrace, — lurking still,
Find it somewhere you must and will, —
Above or below, or within or without, —
And that’s the reason, beyond a doubt,
A chaise breaks down, but doesn’t wear out.

But the Deacon swore (as Deacons do,
With an “I dew vum,” or an “I tell yeou”)
He would build one shay to beat the taown
’N’ the keounty ’n’ all the kentry raoun’;
It should be so built that it couldn’ break daown:
“Fur,” said the Deacon, “’tis mighty plain
Thut the weakes’ place mus’ stan’ the strain;
’N’ the way t’ fix it, uz I maintain,
Is only jest
T’ make that place uz strong uz the rest.”

So the Deacon inquired of the village folk
Where he could find the strongest oak,
That couldn’t be split nor bent nor broke, —
That was for spokes and floor and sills;
He sent for lancewood to make the thills;
The crossbars were ash, from the straightest trees,
The panels of white-wood, that cuts like cheese,
But lasts like iron for things like these;
The hubs of logs from the “Settler’s ellum,” —
Last of its timber, — they couldn’t sell ’em,
Never an axe had seen their chips,
And the wedges flew from between their lips,
Their blunt ends frizzled like celery-tips;
Step and prop-iron, bolt and screw,
Spring, tire, axle, and linchpin too,
Steel of the finest, bright and blue;
Thoroughbrace bison-skin, thick and wide;
Boot, top, dasher, from tough old hide
Found in the pit when the tanner died.
That was the way he “put her through.”
“There!” said the Deacon, “naow she’ll dew!”

Do! I tell you, I rather guess
She was a wonder, and nothing less!
Colts grew horses, beards turned gray,
Deacon and deaconess dropped away,
Children and grandchildren — where were they?
But there stood the stout old one-hoss shay
As fresh as on Lisbon-earthquake-day!

EIGHTEEN HUNDRED; — it came and found
The Deacon’s masterpiece strong and sound.
Eighteen hundred increased by ten; —
“Hahnsum kerridge” they called it then.
Eighteen hundred and twenty came; —
Running as usual; much the same.
Thirty and forty at last arrive,
And then come fifty, and FIFTY-FIVE.

Little of all we value here
Wakes on the morn of its hundreth year
Without both feeling and looking queer.
In fact, there’s nothing that keeps its youth,
So far as I know, but a tree and truth.
(This is a moral that runs at large;
Take it. — You’re welcome. — No extra charge.)

FIRST OF NOVEMBER, — the Earthquake-day, —
There are traces of age in the one-hoss shay,
A general flavor of mild decay,
But nothing local, as one may say.
There couldn’t be, — for the Deacon’s art
Had made it so like in every part
That there wasn’t a chance for one to start.
For the wheels were just as strong as the thills,
And the floor was just as strong as the sills,
And the panels just as strong as the floor,
And the whipple-tree neither less nor more,
And the back crossbar as strong as the fore,
And spring and axle and hub encore.
And yet, as a whole, it is past a doubt
In another hour it will be worn out!

First of November, ’Fifty-five!
This morning the parson takes a drive.
Now, small boys, get out of the way!
Here comes the wonderful one-hoss shay,
Drawn by a rat-tailed, ewe-necked bay.
“Huddup!” said the parson. — Off went they.
The parson was working his Sunday’s text, —
Had got to fifthly, and stopped perplexed
At what the — Moses — was coming next.
All at once the horse stood still,
Close by the meet’n’-house on the hill.
First a shiver, and then a thrill,
Then something decidedly like a spill, —
And the parson was sitting upon a rock,
At half past nine by the meet’n-house clock, —
Just the hour of the Earthquake shock!
What do you think the parson found,
When he got up and stared around?
The poor old chaise in a heap or mound,
As if it had been to the mill and ground!
You see, of course, if you’re not a dunce,
How it went to pieces all at once, —
All at once, and nothing first, —
Just as bubbles do when they burst.

End of the wonderful one-hoss shay.
Logic is logic. That’s all I say.

Love it!

- Jon

Traffic in China

Traffic in Shanghai (or Suzhou for that matter) can get intense at times. Sometimes cars will be almost completely gridlocked. I have a theory though that this gridlock isn't a result of the sheer number of vehicles on the road, instead it is a result of the "Chinese left turn". I've tried to explain this to a couple people, but words just don't seem to do the trick. So here is a diagram (which, unfortunately, I cannot take credit for creating) that explains the Chinese traffic patterns:

STEP 1:

We see here a typical intersection. The light has just turned green for the east-west streets, and car [A], an enormous black Lexus with pitch black windows, wants to make a left turn into the southbound lanes. Pedestrians wait on each corner. (For purposes of this demonstration, we'll assume no one is running the north-south red light, and no one is jaywalking - a rather large assumption.)

STEP 2:

To make a left turn, it is VITAL that [A] cut off all eastbound traffic as soon as possible. The first few brave or foolish legitimate pedestrians step off the curb; this is of no concern. [A] makes his move.

STEP 3:

NO! Too slow! [A] has managed to partially block [B], a brand new purple and yellow Hyundai taxi, but [A] has only achieved what Beijing drivers would consider a 'weak' blocking position.

STEP 4:

In this detail, we can see why: [A] has only inserted his left bumper and cannot move forward without contact. [B], on the other hand, is in the dominant position - by putting his wheel hard to the right and flooring it, he can fully block [A].

STEP 5:

[B] proceeds to swerve right, cutting off [C], a tiny red Peugeot with a gold plastic dragon hood ornament, spoiler and assorted knobs glued on. Since [B] is just accelerating, and [C] is now decelerating, this has created a low-density 'dead space' in the intersection. [D], a strange blue tricycle dumptruck carrying what appear to be 40 of the world's oldest propane tanks, sees this and makes a move.

STEP 6:

DENIED! [E], an old red taxi with its name sloppily stenciled in white on its doors, has boldly cut across two lanes of traffic, behind [D], and then swerved right, driving [D] into an extremely weak position behind [A]. Meanwhile, [B] and [C] are still fighting for position, with [C] muscling his way into the crosswalk. The only thing between [E] and a successful left turn is a few lawful pedestrians. [E] steps on the gas...

STEP 7:

...and is cut off by [F], an elderly man pedaling his tricycle verrrryyy slooooowwwly with a 15-foot-diameter sphere of empty plastic cooking oil bottles bungee-corded haphazardly to the cargo area. He was part of the lawful pedestrians, but seeing the stalled traffic, decided to cut diagonally across the intersection. Not only has [F] blocked [E], he is headed straight at [B], giving [C] the edge he needs.

STEP 8:

[B] concedes to [C], who drives in the crosswalk behind [F] and blocks [E]. Meanwhile, [G], a herd of about 20 bicycles, mopeds, pedestrians and wheelbarrows, sensing weakness in the eastbound lane and seeing that much of the westbound traffic is blocked behind [D], breaks north against the light. [F] pedals doggedly onward at about 2 miles per hour, his face like chiseled marble.

STEP 9:

Now things get interesting. [C] has broken free and, as the first vehicle to get where he was going, wins. [E] makes a move to block [B] but, like [A] at the start of the left turn, only gains a 'weak' block. [A] has cleverly let [F] pass and guns into a crowd of [G], which both moves [A] forward and drives some [G] stragglers into the path of [D], clearing [A]'s flanks. Little now stands between [A] and a strong second-place finish.

STEP 10:

Except for public bus [H], one of those double buses with the accordion-thing connector. [H] has been screaming unnoticed along the eastbound sidewalk and now careens dangerously into a U-turn. This doesn't appear to concern the 112 people packed inside and pressed against the windows (although that could be due to a lack of oxygen.) [H] completely blocks both [A] and [D]. On the other side of the intersection, [B] has swerved into the lawful pedestrians (who aren't important enough to warrant a letter) and has gained position on [E].

[E] has forgotten the face of his father: He was so focused on his battle with [B] that he lost sight of the ultimate goal and is now hopelessly out of position.

This clears the path for dark horse [I], a blue Buick Lacrosse, to cut all the way across behind [H] and become the second vehicle to get where he was going (and the first to complete a left turn), since [F] has changed his mind again and is now gradually drifting north into the southbound lanes. But everyone better hurry, because the light is about to change...

STEP 11:


STEP 12:

And we're ready to start over.

Amazing!

- Jon

Case of the Missing Wallet

Yesterday evening, Jon and I hung out with Robin for his last evening in Shanghai before heading back home to the US of A. We had a great time sumo wrestling with his rambunctious 9-year-old cousin, eating delicious food, drinking yummy wine, and relaxing. We were having so much fun that we ended up leaving on the late side to make our train back to Suzhou….we had to seriously book it. We sprinted through the streets, through the subway, to the train station. When we got there (with 4 minutes to spare), I was completely out of breath, my throat burned, and I was all in all exhausted. I passed out easily.

After an easy cab ride, we finally made it back to our dorm. As I unpacked, I started to panic…where was my wallet?!?! I checked, double-checked, triple-checked – nowhere to be found. Did it fall out of my jacket? Did someone take it from my pocket? I was freaking out, and quite angry with myself for losing my wallet. At least there was no money in it (good thing I’m poor, right?).

I immediately called the credit card companies to cancel everything and get new everything sent to my NY home. I still had to get a new license, and cancel my Chinese bank account, but that would have to wait until the next day.

Then this morning, I was in my coordinator’s office planning to meet later on to cancel the Chinese bank card, when she got a call…the most fortuitous call ever! Apparently, my wallet had fallen out of my jacket in the cab, and the kindest man in the world remembered us and where he had taken us, and returned it to the school (everything intact). Hallelujah!

He left his number, so I contacted him and, with scripted phrases, I thanked him for being completely awesome.

Hooray for Chinese taxi drivers!!!

Over and out,

Em

Coach Carter

Last night, we watched "Coach Carter" with Samuel L. Jackson. At first, I wasn't too thrilled about the idea of watching this movie. I even started it halfway (Jon had already watched the first half) because I didn't think I'd miss anything too important. Well, I was much more touched by the characters than I would have thought. Maybe I'm a sucker for this stuff (like Coach Carter's mentality and dedication to helping kids even when the system doesn't believe in them and they don't believe in themselves), but it was still good. Here's a quote that one of the kids on the basketball team who, at first, was antagonistic towards Coach and then found him to be a guiding light in a time of need (it's originally by Maryanne Williamson):

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our dark that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people don't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Pretty moving...and deeply inspiring.

Over and out,
Em

Christmas ala China

Christmas in China is an interesting phenomenon. The only evidence of merry-ness festivities is centered around foreigners. In Shanghai, there are a bunch of fancy schmancy western stores, like Prada, Escada, Zara, Louis Vuitton (sp?)..., that have tons of lights and fake xmas trees and giant signs with oh-so-jolly Santa Clauses and "Merry Christmas" outside. It feels really bizarre, like the only way to celebrate xmas is through super expensive shopping...in a removed westerner way. Not that I'm into the religious aspects (AT ALL), but I'd rather focus on family, friends, and spending warm quality time with one another. It's a little hard to do in this atmosphere. But I'm doing my best. I an giving in to the gift-giving aspect this year, which I'm normally not that good at (I'm more of a spontaneous giver), but I figure I can give my "tourist" gifts as xmas gifts (2 for 1, baby).

Mostly, the part of xmas that has been occupying the most time for me is the xmas performance that my class is doing with the rest of the International Department at my school this coming Friday. I wrote a short play called "A Marshmallow Season" about a girl who really wants it to snow, who feels that the air is so magical this year that it will snow, about classmates' doubt of snow coming (since it rarely snows here in Suzhou), and about the snow that does ultimately come, bringing joy to all (holy corniness). Then they sing Let it Snow, singing along with music....and then 4 students have piano, saxophone, and flute solos, which is pretty cool. I thought it was going to just be awesome all around. But painful and difficult organization and planning has gone into these shananigans. I always seem to do that...make more work for myself. Right now, I can't wait for it to be over!!! I usually shy away from the cheesy xmas festivities and Santa coloring pages and mundane activities centered around a religious holiday masquerading as a Hallmark profiting scheme....eh, the two excuses get intertwined in a whirlwind. But here I had no choice. Well, I guess in reality, I like a little bit of xmas cheer, and I'm excited to see my students perform...I think they're gonna be great. And then afterwards, I can really kick my feet up and relax. Mmmmm....

In other randomness, I've been feeling sick after almost every Chinese meal that I have. Not hurling bad, but gripping-my-stomach bad. I think it might be the pans that they use....or the unclean ingredients. Either would do it. I hope it gets better....but for now, I'll make most of my own food, thank you very much.

Later friends!

C.R.E.A.M.

For those who have not been to the 36 Chambers, C.R.E.A.M. is a Wu-Tang Clan song and an acronym that stands for Cash Rules Everything Around Me. It also reminds me of one of my favorite frisbee cheers (thanks Luke!) Anyways, it's late here in Suzhou and I'm exhausted from my weekend in Shanghai, but I wanted to make a quick note of a recent discovery of mine. A good friend in Suzhou told me that money could be made on blogs by displaying a small google ad on the side. At first, I was skeptical, but I figured that any shot at earning money without doing any work was worth a shot, so I signed up for AdSense and am now displaying a google ad (which you can see on the right side of your screen) on my page. I've been trying to convince friends to click on the link whenever they visit the site and so far their clicks (16) have generated $5.33. Pretty cool! I'm planning on using on pay for all my vegetables using only earnings from my AdSense account :) Haha. Free money is awesome. Please keep clicking!

I anticipate that some of you might have some questions about payment details. Unfortunately, Google is painfully vague about how much each click is worth. From what I can gather, different ad words cost different amounts (the more unique, the more expensive). As a consequence, each click on a "more unique" ad will generate more money for my account. So far, it looks like I am averaging around 30 or 35 cents per click. I like to think of that as 1 lb of tangerines per click. Yum!

- Jon

"Old Godzilla was hopping around Tokyo city like a big playground..."

NOTE: FOR PEOPLE WHO DON'T USUALLY READ THE BLOG

IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR THE SONG FROM THE TITLE IT IS THE ULTIMATE SHOWDOWN OF ULTIMATE DESTINY:



Yesterday I had one of those moments where you just stop and think to yourself "What the hell am I doing here?" (But, in a good way.) I was playing basketball with a handful of security guards from the school and we were doing our best to communicate in broken Chinese and English. I was trying to explain that I was going back to my apartment to cook pasta. They couldn't understand why I would ever want to eat so late (this was at 7:15pm). It's very weird to live in a foreign country, surrounded by people who speak a different language and have a profoundly different way of acting (and seeing the world around them). It's wonderful though. It forces one to appreciate the multi-facetedness of everything around us. There is never one way to look at something. Interpretation matters just as much as the actions/events themselves and we all have our own unique ways of interpreting 0ur environment. I'm rambling on a bit more than I had intended...

I was thinking today about why I am here in China. As many of you know, I have delayed moving to Colorado and deferred my enrollment in my Statistics PhD program for one year to come to China. I came to China with three main goals: 1) explore a new country 2) learn Chinese 3) relax and enjoy myself. So far, I think I'm making pretty good progress all 3 fronts (particularly #3), but next semester I'd really like kick things up a notch in the Chinese studying department. I am going to begin formal instruction at a university. I'm looking at a semester-long, intensive study program with 20 hours of instruction a week. I'm psyched!

我很喜欢打蓝球！

再见！
Jon
P.S. I will continue experimenting more and more with typing in Chinese!

Shanghaied

We had our first visit to Qi Pu Lu (also endearingly called Cheap Street) in Shanghai this past weekend. The street is basically a one-stop shopping extravaganza. It's a bargain hunters dream. There are thousands of little stalls selling everything from freaky wigs to hip-hop sweatshirts and nothing has a listed price (so bring your bargaining skills). The place was teeming with people on Saturday and that only added to the experience. Here are a couple of pictures from our time in Qi Pu:

This is what I would look like if I went platinum and did a lot of drugs.

Wig store.

Grabbing some post-shopping food with the gang!

Happy couple :)

Despite my non-consumer tendencies, I ended up purchasing two items. A new Chinese flannel and a fake Nuggets basketball jersey.

- Jon
P.S. In other news, Hugh taught me how to text in Chinese on my phone. Pretty exciting!

Sugar in Your Gas Tank

It's been a long time since I mentioned anything about my classes. Things have been going really well at school for me. I've been enjoying my classes for the most part. I think I'm connecting with the kids despite the language/age barriers and I'm teaching some interesting material (at least in high school). I don't write much about teaching on the blog because I prefer to keep my work life separate from the rest of my life. I try not to think about work after around 5 or 6pm. This is particularly important for me while I'm teaching because there is ALWAYS more to do to become a better teacher.

This past week my PGA3 (high school seniors) class finished up the material for our math and science classes two weeks ahead of schedule! This is really a testament to the dedication and diligence of my students. I decided that we should have a party to celebrate their hard work... So yesterday, instead of evening class, I met my kids in the music room for their party. Now, I was planning on just going along as an adult chaperone (kind of like chaperoning a middle school dance), but the class had other plans. They did their best to include me in all of the goofy activities that they had planned. The whole party was really bizarre. It started off with a KFC feast (Chinese people LOOOOOOOOOOVE KFC) and then was followed by an acapella performance of some Britney Spears song by one of the students (which was awesome). After a bit more singing and drumming they started playing a game similar to hot potato. If you were the one holding the hot potato you had to perform a "show" of your choice. Basically, this game is all about watching your friends make fools out of themselves. Now, the kids rigged the game repeatedly and forced me to perform shows for them. I'm not much of a singer and I couldn't really think of anything, so I ended up teaching them how to line dance. Hilarious... I really wish I had a video of it. There was a lot more singing and goofy games. It was really fun and I think the kids enjoyed it!

In other news, I have been getting a Joke-a-Day email. Most of the jokes are terrible, but I recently got one that was sort of clever. Hope you enjoy it:

A woman in her eighties made the evening news because she was getting married for the fourth time. The following day she was being interviewed by a local TV station, and the commentator asked about what it felt to be married again at that age and would she share part of her previous experiences, since it seem quite unique the fact that her new husband was a ‘funeral director.’ After a short time to think, a smile came to her face and she proudly explained that she had first married a banker when she was in her twenties, in her forties she married a circus ring master, and in her sixties she married a pastor and now in her eighties, a funeral director. The amazed commentator asked her why she had married men with such diverse carriers. With a smile on her face she explained, ‘I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go.’

- Jon