Tales of Laowai

My shoes have taken a beating over the past month climbing around on ruins, exploring dirty city streets, hiking, etc... I've accumulated dirt from three different countries and worn a couple of holes through the shoes. Basically, I need new shoes.

So I figured that I'd just pop down to Guen Qian street to get a pair. Now, I consider myself a man of fairly normal proportions (with the possible exception of my monkey arms) and I wear a relatively normal size 11 shoe, so I didn't consider the possibility that I might not fit into shoes in the store. Oh misguided I was...

I entered store after store and the following dialogue would commence:

Me: Ni you xiezi hen da? (Do you have large shoes?)
Clerk: Dui. (Yes.)
Me: You sishiliu (Do you have size 46?) Note: 46 is the English size that is the same as US 11.
Clerk (eyes popping out of her head): Sishiliu!?!? Meiyou. (46!?!?! We don't have that.)
Me: Xiexie. (Thanks.)
Clerk (turning to speak with the other clerks and pointing at me): Teeheehee. Sishiliu. (Haha, this crazy laowei wants size 46. What does he think this is? The circus?)

I think this dialogue was repeated 10 to 15 times in different stores. The clerks would always find it absolutely hilarious that I would even consider looking for shoes that large. It was like I was asking for elephant clogs or something... In the odd store I'd ask for size 46 and the clerk's eyes would narrow and then she'd scurry back into the closet and return with THE pair of size 46 shoes. The stores here had a maximum of 1 pair of size 11 shoes!!! Luckily, I'm not picky about the shoes I buy and I bought two of the three pairs of size 11 shoes that I saw (dress shoes and sneakers.)

In the end, the mission was successful, but I have never felt like more of a freak. Now, when I walk around Suzhou all I do is stare at people's tiny feet... It is kind of amazing.

- Jon